HealthInfo West Coast-Te Tai Poutini

Supporting someone with alcohol or drug addiction or abuse

You may not be sure if your friend, spouse or family member is addicted to alcohol or drugs. The Alcoholics Anonymous questionnaire Are they an alcoholic? may help you work out if they're addicted to alcohol. The Is their use likely to cause problems? page on The Level may help you work out if they're addicted to drugs.

If you suspect they have a problem, you may need to raise the issue with them. This is important for their wellbeing, and to protect your relationship with them.

If the person with alcohol or drug addiction accepts they have a problem, it's important to give them as much support as you can while they try to break free from the addiction. At times this may need a lot of patience and forgiveness. At other times it may mean putting up very firm boundaries so they know what you will tolerate and what you won't.

If they don't accept they have a problem, be careful how you raise it with them. See these tips for talking about it (this advice is about talking to someone about alcohol but is also useful for talking to someone about drugs).

Tell them you've seen behaviour that worries you. Tell them you're worried that they might be addicted. It can be useful to have a list of warning signs or behaviours that you've seen. Be upfront about what you've seen. It can be more difficult for them to deny things if you have some solid examples.

How you can help

Being a support person for someone with alcohol or drug addiction or abuse can be very difficult. The alcohol or drug problem usually has a negative effect on everyone, particularly a partner and dependent children.

As a support person you're split between caring for the needs of the person with the addiction, and looking after yourself. You'll be more able to offer support if you seek support for yourself.

Alcoholics or drug takers may become abusive towards their partners, parents or children. They may also neglect or abuse vulnerable people in their care. If this happens, you need to take steps to ensure your or the children’s safety.

There are support services who can help people affected by domestic violence. See Children of parents with a mental illness or addiction for organisations that can help when children are affected by a parent with addiction.

Support organisations

• Kina Families and Addictions Trust

  Information and practical advice for dealing with your loved one's alcohol or drug abuse.

• PACT – Alcohol, other drugs and gambling addiction

  PACT supports people with experience of mental illness, who are developing alcohol, drug, nicotine or gambling problems. For more information, phone (03) 768-6660.

• Poutini Waiora

  Poutini Waiora can provide alcohol and drug counselling, including assessment counselling and treatment plans. Free call 0800-333-170 or call (03) 755-6572.

• Salvation Army Bridge programme

  The Salvation Army Bridge programme has a support group for families affected by alcohol or drug addiction. For more information, phone (03) 338-4436.

• Al-Anon Family Groups

  Al-Anon holds meetings to help and give comfort to families of alcoholics. It includes Alateen groups for young Al-Anon members, usually teenagers.

  HealthInfo recommends the following pages

• Alcohol.org.nz
  • Concerned about someone's drinking?

    This 28-page booklet has comprehensive information and advice about problem drinking, what you can do to help, and how to look after yourself.

  • Helping with problem drinking

    This 40-page booklet is for practitioners helping clients or patients change their drinking behaviour. It has comprehensive information that might also be useful for families or friends helping loved ones.

• Family Drug Support Aotearoa New Zealand

  Family Drug Support Aotearoa New Zealand is a support service for whānau/families and friends affected by drug or alcohol misuse by people they care about. You can call 0800-FDSupport (0800-337-877) for support from 9 am to 10 pm, seven days a week.

On the next page: Treatment & medications for alcohol or drug addiction or abuse

Written by HealthInfo clinical advisers. Last reviewed June 2020.

Sources

Page reference: 608065

Review key: HIADG-47857