HealthInfo West Coast-Te Tai Poutini

Helping your baby get settled

Te tiaki i te pēpi kua kore e mauri tau

There are some things you can do to help settle and comfort your pēpi (baby).

Look after yourself

• Talk to others. Remember you are not alone. Other parents will have had the same problems. It can help to share how you are feeling.
• Have some time out, as a crying pēpi is hard work!

• Ask friends, whānau (family), or your partner to give you a break so you can have some time away from your pēpi.
• Look after yourself and rest when you can. Ask for help with some of your other jobs, like the housework, meals, shopping and picking up other tamariki (children) from school or preschool.

If you feel you are not coping, are tearful, worried, angry or feeling down and hopeless, it is important to seek help for yourself. Mothers with unsettled pēpi can have postnatal depression or anxiety. Contact your general practice team, Well Child provider, or midwife.

Be smokefree

Keep your baby away from smoke, both inside and outside the house, and in the car. Read more about how to become smokefree.

Use tips to soothe and settle

Soothing your pēpi can be hard when they are unsettled and crying.

• Some pēpi respond to being held or by gentle movement. But sometimes this can have the opposite effect and can actually overstimulate your pēpi.
• Allow your pēpi to soothe themselves by putting them down for 5 to 10 minutes. Pēpi can need a break from all the touching, talking and rocking. It does not harm your pēpi to allow them time to settle themselves and it gives you a break.
• No single strategy works. It can be trial and error to work out what settles your pēpi at any one time and this is likely to change from day to day.

Use good feeding skills

• Make time for your baby's feeding by slowing down and following their cues or signs. Your pēpi may show you that they are ready to feed by nuzzling, hand-sucking or mouthing (where they open their mouth and turn their head). Crying is usually the baby's last cue for feeding and means they are getting distressed. Try to feed your pēpi before they start crying, otherwise you may have trouble getting them to settle and feed.
• Try to keep your pēpi upright for about 30 minutes after a feed. If your pēpi spills in bed, they will not choke. It is important to put your pēpi to sleep on their back to prevent sudden unexpected death in infancy (SUDI).
• If you are breastfeeding, changing what you eat is unlikely to help. But you could talk to your general practice team, Well Child provider or midwife about this. Changing to formula feeding is also not likely to change your baby's crying patterns.
• If your pēpi is formula fed, do not keep changing formula to see if this helps. If you would like to change formula, talk to your general practice team, Well Child provider or midwife.

Help with sleep

Help your pēpi to become a good sleeper.

• Put your pēpi in bed when they are drowsy but awake so they learn to go to sleep by themselves.
• Have a bedtime routine. For example, having a bath, reading a book, singing a song then a quiet feed with the lights dim before putting your pēpi to bed. This helps your pēpi learn the difference between night and day.
• When feeding during the night, keep calm and quiet and avoid too much interaction, such as talking or singing.
• Keeping your pēpi awake all day will not help them sleep better at night. Daytime sleep is important too. The amount of daytime sleep your pēpi needs will vary and become less as they get older. A daytime routine of feeding, playing then sleeping can be helpful.

Medicines

Medicines (such as omeprazole and ranitidine) have not been shown to help unsettled and crying pēpi, and may cause harm.

Get help from others

Talk to your general practice team, Well Child provider, or midwife for advice.

Plunket can provide support and assistance. You can call PlunketLine on 0800‑933‑922 for child health and parenting questions 24 hours a day.

Parenting support is available through several groups.

Written by HealthInfo clinical advisers. Last reviewed December 2024.

Sources

Page reference: 44458

Review key: HIUCB-33560