HealthInfo Waitaha Canterbury
When you're thinking about having sex
Ina whai whakaaro ana koe ki te aitanga
Sex is fun and it should feel good. To enjoy sex, you should only have sex when you and your partner are ready. The legal age of consent in New Zealand is 16 years old, but there is no "right" age to start having sex. What is right for you may not be right for your friend and may not even be right for your partner.
You and your partner need to be comfortable about your sexual activity. You both need to get and give consent before sex. Either of you can still change their mind at any stage. The video in the link below explains consent in more detail.
Part of enjoying a healthy sex life is looking after your sexual health. Sexual health covers taking care of your sexual body parts, practising safe sex, knowing how to protect yourself from sexually transmitted infections, choice of contraception and even feelings about sex, your sexuality and gender identity.
Sex and confidentiality
In Aotearoa New Zealand, you must be over 16 years old to legally consent to sexual activity. The law is designed to protect young people from being taken advantage of.
If you're under 16 and you've decided to have sex, you're happy about it and you aren't being forced to do something you do not want to do, do not feel afraid to visit your general practice team or a sexual health clinic for advice. The person who sees you will talk to you about your decision, make sure it's right for you and talk to you about ways to have safe sex.
But if they're worried that you do not understand the decision you're making or that someone is pushing you into sex, they will talk to you about these concerns. To keep you safe, they may have to tell other people.
HealthInfo recommends the following videos
- Blue Seat Studios – Tea consent
An explanation of what consent is using a cup of tea as an analogy.
- Youthhealthtalk.org – Sexual health
Video interviews with a range of young people about their experiences of sexual health. Topics include first sexual experience, starting periods, what sex feels like in your body and in your head and contraceptive experiences.
HealthInfo recommends the following pages
- BodySafe (Tiaki Tinana) – Consent
Four steps to consent, legal information about consent, and examples of what isn't consent.
- Sexual Wellbeing Aotearoa – About sex
Information about sex for young people.
- Just the Facts
On this site you can find out about STIs: facts and myths, getting a test and where to go for help. It also has information about safer sex, how to take care of your penis or vagina and the facts about virginity and your hymen. Plus, the Just the Facts YouTube channel has short videos on stuff like consent, visiting the sexual health clinic and the emergency contraceptive pill.
- Community Law – Pregnancy rights
A booklet explaining your legal options before, during and after pregnancy. It covers sexual health, health care, education for people under 18, housing, work, caring for a child, legal aid and where to go for more support.
On the next page: Contraception for young people
Written by HealthInfo clinical advisers. Last reviewed August 2022.
Sources
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Review key: HISIT-53216
