HealthInfo Waitaha Canterbury
You may not be sure if your friend, spouse or whānau (family) member is addicted to alcohol or drugs. The Alcoholics Anonymous questionnaire, Are they an alcoholic? may help you work out if they're addicted to alcohol. The Is their use likely to cause problems? page on The Level may help you work out if they're addicted to drugs.
If you suspect they have a problem, you may need to raise the issue with them. This is important for their wellbeing and to protect your relationship with them.
If the person with alcohol or drug addiction accepts they have a problem, it's important to give them as much support as you can while they try to break free from the addiction. At times this may need a lot of patience and forgiveness. At other times it may mean putting up very firm boundaries, so they know what you'll tolerate and what you will not.
If they do not accept they have a problem, be careful how you raise it with them. See these tips for talking about it (this advice is about talking to someone about alcohol but is also useful for talking to someone about drugs).
Tell them you've seen behaviour that worries you. Tell them you're worried that they might be addicted. It can be useful to have a list of warning signs or behaviours that you've seen. Be upfront about what you've seen. It can be more difficult for them to deny things if you have some solid examples.
Being a support person for someone with alcohol or drug addiction or abuse can be very difficult. The alcohol or drug problem usually has a negative effect on everyone, particularly a partner and dependent children.
As a support person you're split between caring for the needs of the person with the addiction and looking after yourself. You'll be more able to offer support if you seek support for yourself.
Alcoholics or drug takers may become abusive towards their partners, parents or children. They may also neglect or abuse vulnerable people in their care. If this happens, you need to take steps to ensure your or the children’s safety.
There are support services that can help people affected by domestic violence. See Children of parents with a mental illness or addiction for organisations that can help when children are affected by a parent with addiction.
Al-Anon holds meetings to help and give comfort to whānau of alcoholics. It includes Alateen groups for young Al-Anon members, usually teenagers.
The Familial Trust supports whānau who are affected by addiction.
Family Drug Support Aotearoa New Zealand is a support service for whānau and friends affected by drug or alcohol misuse by people they care about. You can call 0800-FDSupport (0800-337-877) for support from 9 am to 10 pm, seven days a week.
Kaupapa Māori support services including alcohol and drug treatment and a harm reduction support group.
Information and practical advice for dealing with your loved one's alcohol or drug abuse.
Yellow Brick Road is a national organisation that provides a range of free mental health support services for whānau who have a loved one experiencing mental health challenges. This leaflet explains the services it offers in Canterbury.
HealthInfo recommends the following pages
Advice on helping someone with a drinking problem.
Advise on supporting someone who is using alcohol or other drugs.
Advise for parents and caregivers concerned about a young person's drug or alcohol use.
On the next page: Treating alcohol or drug addiction
Written by HealthInfo clinical advisers. Last reviewed June 2023.
Review key: HIADG-47857