HealthInfo Piki Te Ora Southern
Sexuality & sexual identity
Hōkakatanga me tuakiri hōkakatanga
Sexuality or sexual identity is about the kind of people you are emotionally and physically attracted to. It can sometimes be referred to as sexual preference or orientation. It is not defined by who you have sex with, but by how you feel and how you choose to identify yourself.
Finding out about your sexuality
Discovering your sexuality is a normal part of growing up. While it can be exciting, it can also be confusing.
Some people may know early on who they are attracted to while others may take until they are adults.
Your sexuality can also change in different situations and over the course of your life. This is known as sexual fluidity.
It may be that you are unsure of your sexuality.
It is important to remember that any of these are fine and everyone is different. People cannot change who they are attracted to. It is also important to remember that it is not OK to be bullied, treated unfairly or abused because of who you are.
Different types of sexuality
You may like to have a label that defines your sexuality, or you may choose not to. There are many different types of sexuality which include:
- Heterosexual – attracted to the opposite sex or gender.
- Homosexual – attracted to the same sex or gender. Sometimes called gay. Refers to both men and women.
- Lesbian – attracted to the same sex or gender if you are a woman.
- Bisexual – attracted to both men and women.
- Pansexual – attracted to people regardless of their gender, sex or sexual identity.
- Asexual – not really sexually attracted to anyone.
Takatāpui is a Māori term meaning "intimate companion of the same sex". It has been reclaimed to embrace all Māori who identify with diverse sexes, genders and sexualities.
It may help to read more about sexuality, including feelings and experiences. It may also help to talk to someone in confidence about how you are feeling. The pages listed below have lots of information and resources that you may find helpful.
HealthInfo recommends the following pages
- Community Law – Sex, gender and sexual orientation
Information about your legal rights to identify with any gender no matter what sex you were assigned when born.
- OutLine
OutLine is a free and confidential national support line service for all ages. Trained volunteers from the LGBTIQ+ communities answer calls. You can phone the support line on 0800-688-5463 from 6 pm to 9 pm any evening.
- RainbowYOUTH
RainbowYOUTH supports young queer and gender diverse (LGBTIQ) people up to the age of 27 as well as their wider communities. It also has a super simple guide about sexuality that you may find useful, along with a list of helpful organisations.
- ReachOut – Sexuality
A site providing information, fact sheets, stories, podcasts and online forums about issues affecting young people.
- Skylight – Where to find support
A list of groups and information sites for young people, whānau and people working with them around sexuality & sexual identity.
- Takatāpui
A resource hub for takatāpui and their whānau.
Written by HealthInfo clinical advisers. Last reviewed March 2023.
Sources
Review key: HISXI-812001
