HealthInfo Piki Te Ora Southern
Anger management
Anger is a strong and challenging emotion. It is common to experience anger, but it can also feel frightening.
Anger occurs when you experience overwhelming feelings that you may express by arguing and shouting. Sometimes, anger can happen if you are feeling sad, scared or depressed.
Your anger can be increased at times of stress. For example, due to work, relationships or moving house, or changes including hormonal changes that can create mood swings.
Angry feelings that are expressed by physical fighting, bullying, excessive shouting and arguing, destroying things or self-harm is a sign that your anger has become a problem.
Managing anger
Learning how to deal with anger can take some practice. Feeling angry is OK, but hurting yourself or others because you are angry is not. The trick is to learn how to manage and express angry feelings positively, and without losing control.
Here are some ideas on how to manage a situation when you are experiencing anger.
- Try to understand what is making you angry.
- Think about potential solutions – do you get angry? Do you try to solve the problem? Or do you do nothing?
- Consider the consequences for the potential solutions. Will your solution make the situation worse or better?
- Make a decision – decide what the best option is and then act on this decision.
Here are some ways to prevent or limit yourself from feeling angry.
- Exercise is a great way to improve your mood.
- Listening to music can improve your mood.
- Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you notice your emotions and can improve how you feel.
- Mindfulness meditation is a tool that can help you manage stress, improve your focus and become more able to cope with life's ups and downs (resilience). It works best if you practice and do it regularly.
Getting help with anger
If you are struggling to control your anger, it is important to get help.
This is especially important if you have been violent, or are worried you will be violent when you are angry. As well as physically hurting someone, violence includes other actions such as verbal abuse and threats.
Your general practice team can help to arrange support for you, or you can look for a counsellor yourself in the Family Service Directory.
HealthInfo recommends the following pages
- 0800 What's Up – Anger
This New Zealand site has information about anger and gives you the chance to chat to a counsellor, either online or on the phone.
- Headspace National Youth Mental Health Foundation – Understanding anger
This page from the Australian Youth Mental Health Foundation has information about anger and tips on how to support someone else with anger issues.
- In Your Hands
Information and help with managing violence.
- Smiling Mind
Learn more about mindfulness meditation on this Australian site. It has a free app.
Written by HealthInfo clinical advisers. Last reviewed May 2024.
Sources
Review key: HIANY-50772
