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Overview of gender identity in young people

Tirohanga whānui ki te tuakiri ā-ira ki ngā tamariki me taiohi

It's normal for tamariki (children) to explore ways of expressing their gender. Some tamariki are aware of their gender identity from an early age. Others may take time to figure it out. It's important for parents, guardians, and whānau (family) to allow their tamariki and rangatahi (young people) to explore their identity. It's also important to make sure they feel loved and accepted as they develop.

If your tamaiti (child) is exploring their gender identity or tells you they're a different gender than the one you expected, it's normal to feel confused. It's also normal to have mixed feelings. Take time to listen to your tamaiti and learn. Reach out for support and look after yourself. Learn as much as you can so you can best support your tamaiti.

See Gender identity resources for whānau for advice for whānau of tamariki who are exploring their gender or identify as gender diverse. The resources include practical ways to support your tamaiti and tips for talking to schools or whānau members.

See Te Whatu Ora – Health New Zealand for advice on how to support your tamaiti.

The resources below can help you explore concepts of gender identity and gender expression with your tamariki and rangatahi. They can also help you discuss them with whānau and friends.

Your tamaiti and your whānau aren't alone. There is a lot of support. See Support networks for transgender & gender diverse people & their whānau for groups and organisations that can connect you to other whānau and help you and your tamaiti.

HealthInfo recommends the following videos

The Wireless – The real sex talk: gender identity
A video discussing gender identity.

HealthInfo recommends the following pages

Brook Pessin-Whedbee and Naomi Bardoff – Who are you?
This illustrated book provides a straightforward introduction to gender for young tamariki aged 3 or older.
Cory Silverberg and Fiona Smyth – Sex is a funny word
This book about bodies, gender and sexuality is for tamariki aged 8 to 10.
PFLAG – Our trans loved ones
Questions and answers for parents, whānau and friends of people who are transgender and gender expansive.
Stanford University – Health across the gender spectrum
A story-based course to learn a better understanding of gender identity and the gender spectrum. You can also view the course's videos on YouTube.

Written by Ko Awatea gender-affirming care co-design group. Adapted by HealthInfo clinical advisers. Last reviewed March 2023.

Sources

The information in this section comes from the following sources, some of which may be clinically complex or not available to the general public

Center for Primary Care Harvard Medical – School terminology related to sexual orientation, gender identity, and more, retrieved February 2019.

Clark TC, Lucassen MF, Bullen P, et al. The health and well-being of transgender high school students: results from the New Zealand adolescent health survey (Youth'12) (https://www.jahonline.org/article/S1054-139X(13)00753-2/fulltext). Journal of Adolescent Health, Volume 55, Issue 1, 93 - 99. July 2014.

Human Rights Commission NZ – Transgender enquiry report: To be who I am. 2007.

Intersex Awareness New Zealand – What is intersex? (http://www.ianz.org.nz/what-is-intersex/), retrieved February 2019.

Ministry of Health – Transgender New Zealanders (https://www.health.govt.nz/your-health/healthy-living/transgender-new-zealanders/health-care-transgender-new-zealanders), retrieved February 2019.

Oliphant J, Veale J, Macdonald J, Carroll R, Johnson R, Harte M, Stephenson C, Bullock J. Guidelines for gender affirming healthcare for gender diverse and transgender children, young people and adults in Aotearoa, New Zealand. Transgender Health Research Lab, University of Waikato, 2018.

Olson KR, Durwood L, DeMeules M, et al. Mental Health of Transgender Children Who Are Supported in Their Identities. Pediatrics. 2016;137(3):e20153223. March 2015.

Rainbow Youth – Useful Words (https://ry.org.nz/friends-whanau/useful-words/), retrieved February 2019.

Yogyakarta principles, retrieved February 2019.

Image and embedded video sources

Image of parent holding child by Joseph Gonzalez on Unsplash. April 2019.

Image of person having counselling from The Gender Spectrum Collection. April 2019.

Image of person writing on clipboard from The Gender Spectrum Collection. April 2019.

Image of medical person from The Gender Spectrum Collection. April 2019.

Image of two people hugging in front of a wall by Eye for Ebony on Unsplash. April 2019.

Image of two people in an office from The Gender Spectrum Collection. April 2019.

Image of two people reading from The Gender Spectrum Collection. April 2019.

Image of two young people having fun in outdoor area by Annie Spratt on Unsplash. April 2019.

Page reference: 615620

Review key: HISOG-53214