HealthInfo Waitaha Canterbury
Overview of dying at home
This page has links to information in other languages.
Dying is different for every person and for every whānau (family). It is important to do whatever feels right during this time.
In our multicultural society, there are differing traditions surrounding death. Here is some practical advice for the time leading up to death and the time immediately afterwards so you can be prepared.
If you are a Māori whānau caring for a loved one at home, you can get support from Te Ipu Aronui.
Before death occurs
When someone has an advanced illness, death usually comes gradually and is peaceful in most cases. You can read about some of the main changes that may occur as a person nears the end of their life in Understanding the dying process.
It is not possible to predict the actual time of death, but doctors and nurses can often give you an idea of when your loved one is getting near. It is important that the person's general practice team is aware of the deterioration.
Your district nurse is best placed to ring the general practice team, or you can ring yourself. If a weekend or public holiday is approaching, it is particularly important that you know who to contact and have the correct phone number available.
People often want to make plans for the funeral or memorial service ahead of time. See Planning a funeral or memorial for information about this.
Help and support
This can be an exhausting time, so look after yourself and accept offers of help. It can make a huge difference if others can do simple things like washing a bag of laundry, preparing an evening meal or collecting a prescription from the pharmacy. Some pharmacies may be able to deliver prescriptions.
You can read more advice about looking after yourself in Looking after yourself when caring for someone who is dying.
Despite good planning, things can sometimes happen unexpectedly. You might need to seek urgent help from your general practice team or district nurse.
Knowing when someone has died
The death process can be both sudden and gentle. You will probably know instinctively that the person is no longer alive. Some things to look for and be aware of are:
- they will be unresponsive and not breathing or moving
- their eyes and mouth may be slightly open
- the colour of their skin will become paler and cooler
- stiffness does not occur for several hours after death.
It is very helpful if you note the approximate time of death.
What to do after the death
It is important to do things in your own time. Take as much time as you need to say your goodbyes.
- If you do not want to be alone, contact a relative or friend to join you. You do not have to call an ambulance or the police.
- If a syringe driver has been used, turn it off by sliding the back cover open and removing the battery.
- It is not necessary to wash their body. But if you wish, you can sponge their skin and face and replace any dentures they might usually wear. If this is not possible, place the dentures in a container and ensure the funeral director receives them.
- Contact your general practice team or district nurse. This can wait until the morning if the person has died overnight, and you are comfortable waiting. The GP will need to complete the death certificate as palliative care services cannot do this.
- If you are using a funeral director, notify them of the death. Again, this can wait until the morning if the person has died overnight. The funeral director will arrange with you to collect the tūpāpaku (body).
- It is often possible for the person who has died to stay at home in a cool room for a time to allow whānau and friends to come and say their goodbyes.
HealthInfo recommends the following pages
- Te Hokinga ā Wairua End of Life Service
This information guides you through the things that need to happen after someone dies, from the first few days to several months afterwards.
A printable overview of this information is also available on this link in English, Te reo Māori, Samoan, Simplified Chinese and Tongan.
- Te Ipu Aronui
This site is to support Māori whānau (families) to provide care to adults and kaumātua (older people) at end of life, as well as take care of whānau at the same time.
On the next page: Understanding the dying process
Written by Te Whatu Ora Waitaha Canterbury end of life care and bereavement group and Nurse Maude Hospice. Adapted by HealthInfo clinical advisers. Last reviewed July 2024.
SourcesReview key: HIWSD-76097
