HealthInfo Piki Te Ora Southern

End-of-life decisions

Whakataunga hinganga

 

We all have things we think about and want to act on as we near the end of our life. Some are things we want to do on our own. Some are things we want to involve our loved ones in. Others are things we need to involve professionals such as doctors or lawyers in.

This page is about some of the things you might be thinking about or need to make decisions about.

Legal and financial matters

Your will

It is important to have a will that clearly says what you want to happen to your belongings after you die. It makes the process much smoother for your relatives and avoids any drawn-out process or unpleasant disputes.

Your will can specify who you want to receive any personal items, such as special jewellery or heirlooms. It can also specify if you want to make a special gift of money to any individuals or charities.

You can arrange a will through your lawyer, or the Public Trust.

Enduring power of attorney

Arranging an enduring power of attorney means appointing someone to make decisions for you if you cannot. For example, if you are unconscious. You can even arrange a specific medical power of attorney. This is someone who can make decisions about your medical care if you cannot do so.

The people you appoint to either of these positions need to be people you can trust. Talk to your lawyer about how to arrange this.

Guardianship

If you have dependent tamariki (children) and there may be issues about who will care for them once you have gone, talk to your lawyer about arranging for formal guardianship. This will make it clear who you want to make decisions about your children's care.

Planning for your medical care

While you can still make your wishes known, it is good to let people know what medical care you want as you become more unwell. You may want to do this with the help of your general practice team. They can talk to you about advance care planning.

This discussion can include issues such as what cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) or active medical treatment you want and if you have a preference about where you would like to die.

The Nurse Maude brochure on Decisions about treatment has more information about what to consider.

Making – and working through – a bucket list

As people approach the end of their lives, they often think about things they wished they had done or experienced. They can be as simple as trying a new food or as adventurous as travelling to a place you have never been before.

Achieving some of these things can become more important when you know you have limited time left.

Planning a bucket list can help you focus on the things that are most important to you in the last years, months or weeks of your life.

There may be some things you can no longer do. But by making a list, you can choose the things you can achieve and which are important to you, such as calling someone you have not spoken to in years.

Planning for your funeral

Talk with your friends and family about what you would like at your funeral. This will make it easier for them to arrange this at a time when they will be grieving for you.

Your funeral will be a time when people come together to celebrate your life. It can be important for your friends and family to reflect on your life and how you affected their lives.

Some of the things you might want to arrange are:

• the funeral director you want to use
• where your funeral will be held
• what flowers or music you would like
• what type of coffin you would prefer
• who you would like to speak at your service
• what special poems, songs or readings you would like
• what videos or photos you want to be shown
• whether you want to be cremated or buried and what you would like to happen to your remains.

You may find this leaflet on funeral planning helpful in guiding you.

Planning how you will be remembered

People want to be remembered in different ways. These are just some ideas.

• Involve friends and family in gathering together old photographs and arranging them in an album that shows the progress of your life.
• If there is movie or video footage you are fond of, have it transferred to a digital format for future generations to enjoy. You can find businesses that offer this service by searching on Yellow Pages for "video transfer".
• Tell your own story with memories of specific events that you may not have told your family about. You can also include family stories that everyone has loved and enjoyed over the years. You can record these stories in your own voice, or you may wish to write them down. Nurse Maude offers a biography service.
• Put together a memory box, with items from your life that people can enjoy and remember you by. Doing this with family and friends will create a time for telling stories, and perhaps telling them things you may never have spoken about before.

  HealthInfo recommends the following pages

• Age Concern – Enduring power of attorney information

  A pamphlet about enduring power of attorney is also available in te reo Māori.

• Te Hokinga ā Wairua – Create my plan

  Here you can find out more about important issues to consider as you approach the end of life, as well as help you can get. You can also create a plan for what you want to achieve and how you want things to happen, both before and after you have died.

Written by HealthInfo clinical advisers. Last reviewed October 2024.

Sources

Page reference: 349385

Review key: HIDLT-326665