HealthInfo Waitaha Canterbury
Emotional & physical abuse in teens & young adults
Whakamanioro ā-aurongo me ā-tinana (taiohi me rangatahi)
Important
Phone 111 for the police if you or someone else is in immediate danger.
If you or someone else is affected by family violence, call the Family Violence Information Line on 0800‑456‑450. It is available 24 hours, every day.
Everybody deserves to be treated with respect and to feel safe. Abuse is never OK. It is always wrong.
Abuse is any form of physical or emotional ill-treatment, sexual abuse or neglect that either results in actual harm or could result in harm. Abuse can happen to anyone regardless of their gender, age, race or religion.
There are many different types of abuse. Abuse may be one type or a combination of types.
- Physical abuse is when someone uses deliberate force to hurt your body. This includes hitting, kicking and slapping.
- Psychological abuse, often called emotional abuse, is when someone uses controlling or bullying behaviour to intimidate you. This can include repeatedly undermining you or putting you down, isolating you from whānau (family) and friends and creating a climate of fear.
- Sexual abuse is when an abuser forces you to have sex or do something sexual without your consent, or when you do not want to. The abuser may use physical force or verbal threats. Sexual abuse also includes any kind of inappropriate touching.
What to do if you are being abused
Getting information helps, but it is also important to tell someone you trust who can support you and help you. This may be someone from your whānau, a caregiver, teacher, your school counsellor or social worker, a friend's parents or your general practice team.
Sometimes it can be difficult to tell someone about what is going on, especially if someone close is hurting you. You may find it easier to talk anonymously to someone on a telephone helpline.
Phone and helplines
If you prefer to talk to someone anonymously, try one of these helplines for advice and support. They are free from any mobile, landline or pay phone.
0800 What's Up?
0800 What's Up? is a free counselling helpline and webchat service for tamariki (children) and rangatahi (young people).
Freephone 0800‑942‑8787. 12 noon to 11 pm, Monday to Friday and 3 pm to 11 pm, weekends.
You may prefer to chat online. 11 am to 10.30 pm, daily.
You can also read about family violence and what you can do.
Shine
Freephone 0508-744-633. At Shine you can speak to a counsellor from 9 am to 11 pm, any day.
The website has information and help for people of all ages to get safe and stay safe. It also has information about programmes for tamariki who are or have been abused and for men who use violence.
Youthline
Any rangatahi in New Zealand, or anyone supporting a rangatahi, can call Youthline for help.
Freephone 0800‑376-633 (any time) or free txt 234 to speak to a counsellor.
You can also chat online using the webchat between 10 am and 10 pm, Tuesday to Friday and 4:30 pm to 10 pm, Saturday to Monday.
Email any time. Counsellors aim to respond to emails within 24 hours.
In the links below, you will find more information and advice about how to get help.
HealthInfo recommends the following pages
- Better Blokes
A registered charity that supports male survivors of sexual abuse and their whānau to recover from the effects of sexual harm. Provides one-to-one peer support and peer support groups. Call (09) 378‑8812 for more information.
- It's not OK
Information about family violence and rangatahi.
- Love is Respect – Power and control wheel
Use the interactive power and control wheel to find out more about different forms of abuse.
Written by HealthInfo clinical advisers. Last reviewed February 2024.
Sources
Review key: HIEPA-50760
