HealthInfo Canterbury
Emotional & physical abuse in teens & young adults
Important
Phone 111 for the police if you or someone else is in immediate danger.
If you or someone else is affected by family violence, call the Family Violence Information Line on 0800‑456‑450. It is available from 9 am to 11 pm seven days a week.
Everybody deserves to be treated with respect and to feel safe. Abuse is never OK. It is always wrong.
Abuse is any form of physical or emotional ill-treatment, sexual abuse or neglect that either results in actual harm or could result in harm. Abuse can happen to anyone regardless of your gender, age, race or religion.
There many different types of abuse. Abuse may be one type or a combination of types.
- Physical abuse is when someone, by using deliberate force, hurts your body. This includes hitting, kicking and slapping.
- Psychological abuse, often called emotional abuse, is when someone uses controlling or bullying behaviour to intimate you. This can include repeatedly undermining you or putting you down, isolating you from family and friends and creating a climate of fear.
- Sexual abuse is when an abuser forces you to have sex or do something sexual without your consent, or when you don't want to. The abuser may use physical force or verbal threats. Sexual abuse also includes any kind of inappropriate touching.
What to do if you are being abused
Getting information helps, but it's also important to tell someone you trust who can support you and help you. This may be someone from your whānau/family, a caregiver, teacher, your school counsellor or social worker, a friend's parents, or your GP or nurse.
Sometimes it can be difficult to tell someone about what is going on, especially if someone close is hurting you.You may find it easier to talk anonymously to someone on a telephone helpline.
Phone and helplines
If you prefer to talk to someone anonymously try one of these helplines for advice and support. They are free from any mobile, landline or pay phone.
- 0800 What's Up – Family violence
Freephone 0800‑942‑8787
You can speak to a counsellor or chat online Monday to Friday, 12 noon to 11 pm, weekends 3 pm to 11 pm. The website also has information about family violence and what you can do.
- Shine – Services
Freephone 0508-744-633
You can speak to a counsellor from 9 am to 11 pm, any day. The website also has information and help for people of all ages to get safe and stay safe, and programmes for children who are or have been abused and for men who use violence.
- Youthline – Abuse and violence
Freephone 0800‑376-633 (any time) or free txt 234 to speak to a counsellor.
You can also chat online using the webchat between 10 am and 10 pm, 7 days a week.
Email any time. Counsellors aim to respond to emails within 24 hours.
The website also has information about different kinds of abuse and supporting friends who might be being abused.
In the links below, you'll find more information and advice about how to get help.
HealthInfo recommends the following pages
New Zealand links
- Better Blokes
A registered charity that supports male survivors of sexual abuse and their families to recover from the effects of sexual harm. Provides one-to-one peer support and peer support groups. Call (09) 378‑8812 for more information.
- It's not OK
Information about family violence and young people.
- Family Planning – Unhealthy relationships
Information about relationship abuse.
Overseas links
- Love is Respect – Power and control wheel
Use the interactive power and control wheel to find out more about different forms of abuse, including teens talking about different relationship issues.
Written by HealthInfo clinical advisers. Last reviewed January 2021.
Sources
Review key: HIEPA-50760
